I've decided to do it. It’s a big life decision, but I think
I can do it. It’s like buying a new car, or becoming a Packers fan. It’s a big
decision that will impact my lifestyle greatly: quitting Facebook.
So I’m sure you are asking, why quit Facebook? Where’s your
beef with da Book’? I shall tell you in a bulleted list, because everything is
better in a bulleted list!
- I Have Better Things to Do (And no, that doesn't mean Twitter.)
Facebook is the biggest time waste
on the planet. I can’t even begin to tell you how many hours I’ve spent staring
at statuses from people I don’t care about, memes or literally the dumbest things.
Hell, most statuses are about how people are wasting time not doing what they
are supposed to be doing. So now, I’m doing my entire lab report at 3 in the
morning the day its due because I wasted my time reading about other people
wasting their time on the same important thing. It’s the circle of
procrastination. That brings me to my next item….
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| Here's you IQ... now, here's your IQ after being inflicted permanent IQ loss from reading Jeremy's dumbass posts. |
- Procrastination
I don’t need to explain this. You
know it’s there, and you know Facebook one of the largest contributing factors
to not actually doing something beneficial with your life…. And again, that doesn't mean twitter you jack-wagon.
- The Stalking & Comparing
You've Facebook stalked someone.
You know you have, don’t try and hide it. Maybe you found this Facebook
stalking someone who liked this. Either way, it’s a waste of time, and
honestly, very dumb. More so, and this is especially for you girls, Facebook is
a fantastic tool for comparing your lives to those of your peers, or that
random dude you friended who has the same name as you. (You know you have him….)
What I’m getting at, is that why does it benefit you to compare yourself to
someone else or stalk someone else? It’s not for your betterment or theirs, and
may very well end in you not feeling too great.
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| When searching for images for this article, I actually found this. It's an "I hate Facebook" TIMELINE COVER. |
- Cyberbullying, Dumb People, and Jack-Wagons
We've already talked about how
most of your Facebook browsing is directed towards dumb people, but let’s talk
about the harm it does to you, on a deeper, more emotional level. Facebook lets
you actively watch cyberbullying, arguments that escalate vastly past what they
actually are, (C.B.A.K – Cowards Behind A Keyboard) and mean posts. I've seen derogatory
posts towards people I know, I've seen personal posts who’s only intention is
to single a person out emotionally, (Ie, “I have this one friends and she’s a
total be—yottch!!” Yes, I know you don’t actually say it like that, but I’m going
to make you seem that dumb for posting it in the first place) and I've seen
groups and movements that are founded by pure hate. In fact, this item can go all the way down to you
seeing pictures of an event your friends had that you weren't invited to. All
of these factors are remarkably negative, they have no benefit in your life and
just hurt you.
- Facebook Games.
No explanation needed, just
imagine how much better your life would be and how much less hateful you would
be if you stopped having to reject invites for any virtual games dealing with
farms or mafias… or both. (It has to exist; it’s too dumb to not be on Facebook.)
Common Objections and my logical
answers:
- Reconnecting with Friends!
If you actually care about what
certain people have to say, and actually want to stay in touch with them… get
their email, phone number, or better yet, see them in person. That’s an actual
friend and a legitimate relationship. If you absolutely need Facebook to talk
to certain people, only keep those people in your friends. At least limit
yourself… that means you, Ms. 600 friends and counting.
- I just like to share photos and memories!
Welcome to Flickr, Google Picassa,
or old fashion scrap booking. It’s the same exact thing, except now your
memories are yours, instead of being accessed by everyone, their brothers, and
the dude who has your college application on his desk.
- I plan events and whatnot!
Google Calendar is actually much,
much more effective for this, and everyone has a Google account. In fact,
Google is the answer to pretty much all of this, and everything.
- I have Facebook ‘Pages’ or important Groups!
This is actually a valid concern.
I too have to be part of Facebook groups for Strike and Foglight, and I need
access to Facebook Pages to monitor the Strike page and the Brett Stewart page…
well, create a new account, and only monitor those things on it. If you want
Facebook as a legitimate tool, use it as a legitimate tool.
With all of that said… think about
it. Maybe you’ll join me and quit
Facebook for good. The social network really has no benefit to your life and if
you have legitimate reasons for using it, Google has better alternatives
anyway. Go live your life, don’t let Facebook rule it, or even contribute to
it. We lose sight of how it’s only a website. Go ride a bike. Or fly a kite. Or
fly a kite on a bike.
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| At least pretend to be active. Still better than Facebook. |
I am in no way responsible for any
inevitable injuries attempting to fly a kite from a bike
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