by Brian Heissenbuttel
Memes. Not
everybody knows about them, but I feel sorry for those who do. If you don’t,
let me give you a brief introduction.
Memes are
internet comics running through the domains memebase.com and mainly
cheezburger.com. With a Z. Because some people don’t know how to spell. Anyway,
they are usually comic strips made with MS Paint that feature poorly drawn
stick figures partaking in idiotic escapades with no real point at the end. The
highlight of all memes is an appearance from one of the repeated faces: “Y U
No,” “Me Gusta,” “Trollface,” “Bitch Please,” and so on. And to make the
selection even more interesting, most of the comics feature a character
watching porn, masturbating, smoking weed, or on her period. No wonder all
these comic writers are “Forever Alone.”
At this
point, a lot of you may be thinking that this is just another useless website
on the internet. If you like memes, you’ll hate what I have to say next. I
don’t want to sound like a cheesy activist, but memes have a derogatory effect
on people and following them will ruin your life. If you look in-depth at the
“cheezburger family,” each and every subpage will contribute to your future job
as the chief fryer at Burger King.
The first
suggestion is “Memebase.” This page is full of comics about people fapping to
porn and not caring about life. Odds are, following this stream of eternally
useless comics will have you doing at least one of those three actions. The
second is called “This Is Photobomb.” Would you like to take a guess what goes
here? Photobombs. Every freaking time. If someone finds a picture on there that
is original, tell me and I will recommend that cheezburger member for the Nobel
Prize. The next is called “Very Demotivational,” because exactly what you want
after a long, hard day at school or work is a comic strip that will make you
even more depressed. “Graph Jam” is full of useless, unproven statistics.
“Señor GIF” should be renamed, “Señor you won’t find anything because this will
crash whatever browser you’re using.” Later in the page is “Go Cry Emo Kid” for
all you heartless sadists out there. I could go on and describe all 11 other
pages, but I’d hate to offend the no-life idiots who dreamt this whole website
up any more than I already have.
I’m not just
writing this to assert my rage against the whole cheezburger and memebase
network. The fact of the matter is that the website is full of stupid,
irrelevant comic strips that glorify the idea of a minimum-wage illegal-drug
filled lifestyle. If you want to see stupid irrelevant comic strips that exist
only to be stupid and irrelevant, check out “Cyanide & Happiness” on
explosm.net. It’ll give you a laugh once in awhile and won’t push you into the
gutters of society.
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