A Letter to the NFL Replacement Refs

by Brian Heissenbuttel

To the fine gentlemen acting as the NFL’s replacement refs:

           

            First off, I want to congratulate you. Not everyone gets a magical note that allows them to abandon their current, meaningless life of hard labor at Party City or Dick’s Sporting Goods. You are a lucky, elite group of men who live their lives in their parents’ attic and play five hours of Madden every day. (If you haven’t beaten the Saints while playing as the Browns yet, you don’t deserve to make that claim)

            Second, why do you want all the mainstream teams to miraculously fail at the start of the season? The last time I remember the Seahawks having a winning record was…um…before my generation. Yeah. I do believe the Packers are good enough to squish the Seahawks. But you stubborn, biased, or just plain stupid referees decided to make things interesting. I’ve never seen a worse array of penalty calls. Defensive holding, pass interference (or lack of such), offside, and roughing the passer. This is football. People get boo-boos all the time and they don’t need to be defended with a 15-yard bandage.

            I don’t know how the normal refs feel about this. Those who are mostly concerned about their salaries were probably watching Week 3 with smug expressions based on all the dreadful calls. (If you didn’t hear, they were screaming bullshit after each bad call in Baltimore) The other bunch is sickened by the way these abominations of men are destroying the fiber of the NFL. Roger Goodell, you may not be losing money by the bucketful yet, but I guarantee by the end of the regular season you will have to trade in your 90” plasma TV for a 70”. Times are tough. At least you came to your senses soon.

            Finally, as a note to all NFL personnel, why did you choose this group of misfits for this extremely important role? This isn’t Bad News Bears. You need well-qualified people at each position for an industry as big as this. If you didn’t see death threats from disgruntled fans as a possibility, then you really need to focus your binoculars.

            I thank the people who finally decided that this had gone far enough. The fans will enjoy the rest of the season. I think we can all agree that if the kicker did not have two feet and an elbow in bounds, then the fumble was NOT wide left.

A Guy Thing: A girl's response to Borderlands 2

photo by Kristina Hagman

By Kristina Hagman

Borderlands 2 just came out! Borderlands 2? I’ve never heard of Borderlands 1! This is the kind of thing I hear about every time my guy friends and I spend time together. Videogames this, videogames that. And maybe a bit about the latest football game.
“Hey, you should come over and play Call of Duty with us sometime,” they invite. Guns? Killing people, however imaginary? No thanks.
As girls, this is not something we enjoy. Most girls would much rather spend their weekends laughing with girlfriends and shopping, not cramped up in a dark basement with simulated guns firing and blood spurting everywhere.
If girls can navigate the streets of Mario Kart with acceptable fluidity, we congratulate ourselves on the feat, and think nothing of the fact that a harder level will knock us out in the first seconds. After this achievement, we will continue onto something worth our time, like our hair.
Boys do not think this way. They have to be the best of the best of the best when it comes to the games they are playing. If they are not on the highest level of Borderlands, which happens to be 69, they are doing something wrong. If they do not have the best weapon that can kill the most people, they are doing something wrong. If they cannot race their car at least three seconds faster than the rest of the group, they are doing something wrong.
Where does this sense of competition come from? It is a well-known fact that men are naturally competitive. The nature of life causes them to show off, in hopes that they will snag a worthy female. But never have you heard, “I’m really into this guy, he has such a profound skill when it comes to gaming!” Never.
And what are the positive aspects of videogames? Hand-eye coordination? How to defend your house in the event of a zombie apocalypse? Unless mutant aliens invade our planet, or some other anomaly happens, these strategies will never help.
Girls don’t see the point of videogames. Recently, my brother decided to go over to his friend’s house, just to play a new one. That is a strange way of hanging out with someone. Laughing and talking and getting to know each other is a much more preferable method.
I’m not say that girls are superior. I’m just saying that you’re not going to find a group of girls yelling at a TV, shooting virtual enemies and killing as many people as possible. We realize that this activity is pointless, and would find a better way to spend time.
Naturally, many guys will argue that they enjoy playing videogames because it’s a way to get their competitiveness out. You could do that playing football, or soccer, or even chess if you’re that kind of person. And, to be honest, men playing sports are about one-hundred times more attractive than someone who sits in front of a screen battling away. What do you have to lose?
So even though the release of a new videogame might be synonymous to the release of a much-anticipated movie, keep the hype to yourselves. Borderlands 2 might be exciting to you, but you might as well be speaking gibberish to me. Is that about the state lines? Maybe it’s about Cuba! The level with the sky falling was really hard, I need to be a 69 to do it well!
I guess it’s just a guy thing.

What I learned on distribution day

What I learned on distribution day

Joe Redmond

Today was a long day. It was rewarding, nerve racking, and frankly inspiring. I have never felt so proud of my staff and my peers. I consider myself a fairly cynical person, but gosh darn it, if days keep going like this, negativity will be the last thing on my mind.

[Insert cheesy picture here]

It was comments like, “You got Jake and Amir? That’s sick!”, “What is this…? Oh, very cool!”, “I’m really happy for you; that’s really something special,” that made all of the hard work Strike has put into the issue worthwhile. I still can’t get over the feeling of asking someone if they wanted an issue, to which they would respond, “I already have two.”

That makes me ecstatic. Two.

Suddenly the world was a bit brighter and people were a bit nicer, all because of one magazine. I would really like to hand it to the community, because something like this could just fall through the cracks. Instead, people reading and sharing our publication brought people together. The community had a common thread on which to discuss. One person even laughed out loud in class reading our staff editorial.

This would be nothing without the support of our community. We tend to dwell on the differences between us, but in the end, people are inherently kind to each other. It’s crazy how far a little optimism and initiative can go.

As much as I tried to focus today on school, today was all about you guys. You all made this possible. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for reading.

Silence

Photo Credit: Alec MacLean (See more)

Kristina Hagman

The silence was deafening, and the pain ran thick. She had been in love, flying on a cloud. All the sweet words, the caresses in the night, they had all been for nothing.

            There was no worth in herself. Her mind was corrupted, and her body no longer pure. Now, even life held no meaning.

            Lying there, on the beach, she was torn. Water licked her fingertips, and she thought about how it would be so easy to let it claim her. A few steps into the waves, and everything would be over. The pain, the sorrow, it would all disappear.

            But the brief moments of happiness, and the joy would all be gone as well. Would it be worth it? No bad things, but no good either. It would be another place filled with bland equilibrium, for the rest of eternity. No feelings, and no end. Forever. It was a long time, to be sure.

            The tides came closer, lapping further up her arm. The gentleness reminded her of his touch, and her heart broke further. A single tear leaked out and rolled down her cheek, coming to rest in the crevice by her lip. She tasted it. It was salty, like the sea.

            The sea, the sea, the sea. It called out to her, a silent voice in the night. The waves made no sound, oddly, as they crept up the beach. Come, the cried, Come. Satisfy us. Come. We need you. Come. You need us. Come. We can help you. Come.

            Her hand closed around the moist sand, her fingers digging into her palm. She didn’t want to die, not really. But the thought was so tempting, sweet like sugar. It promised a place without pain.

            She stood up, wading slowly into the waves. Her splashes made no sound, yet still the waves beckoned her to come. Tears fell down her cheeks freely now, falling quietly into the ocean. Single drops, nothing significant at all.

            She felt like one of her tears. No one would notice if she was gone. She was just a single person, just one drop in the vast ocean. No one would care. The waves came up to her hips now, stealing the heat from her body. Goosebumps ran up her arms, and she rubbed them away.

            The water was cold. The waves were full of malice. Still, they called out to her. What are you waiting for? Come. It’s easy. Just let go. Let us take you far, far away. Come.

            Pushing the thoughts away, she shivered. The moon was out. A bright orb in the sky, illuminating her body in a soft light. She could barely see her reflection in the waves, but it was pale, sickly, and white. What was she doing to herself? Nothing good, that could be sure.

            She glanced at the moon again, but stray clouds had covered it. Slowly, painfully, she headed back toward the shore. The water reached out to her, not ready to give up yet. It wrapped around her ankles, reminding her of the promise of silence they gave. A defiant shout tore itself from her throat, the loud noise carrying far across the sea.

            With a final step, she pulled free of the water. Collapsing on the ground, she stared up at the moon. It was perfect and glowing, the opposite of her. She was as far from perfection as possible. However, she was at peace with that.

            Other people might not accept who she was, but that didn’t matter. Time could fix that. Death was still an option, but it no longer held much appeal. She curled up on the ground. And smiling, she fell asleep. 

Imagine Dragons: Flying To The Top

The band, Imagine Dragons

By Jon Schulte



It's no secret that in today's music scene, you need to have something explosive, something groundbreaking, and something catchy to snag someone's ear, and their wallet. And on Valentines Day, 2012, one band did just that. The release of Imagine Dragons' "Continued Silence EP", their first major label EP shocked listeners, as this six track EP shattered the idea of indie and alternative music, combining intense and berating beats with songs such as "Radioactive" and "Demons", along with a mellow and emotional sound, seen clearly in songs like "Look How Far We've Come", "Round and Round", and the popular "It's Time", the band struck gold, gaining fans world-wide, and success for them after a hard-fought rise to the top.

Beginning in 2009, the band, made up of four reckless, fearless individuals, started recording self-released EPs at Battle Born Studios in Las Vegas, Nevada, hometown of the band's front-runner, Dan Reynolds. From there, Grammy winning producer Alex da Kid picked up the band in 2011, working tirelessly to get the band an audience and to send that audience a message; that they were there to stay, and that they were there to rock. "Continued Silence" broke the rules in every way, gaining a respectable crowd, as well as a new meaning to their music. The songs, with compelling lyrics that only come from the heart, have touched fans, which is seen clearly at their live performances, where the emotion and passion behind every word the band sings is clear, and very touching. The band also really shows off their passion, to the point where Dan once passed out into the drums during a concert finale. Events like this show that Imagine Dragons is unlike what we've seen recently from the indie and alternative songbooks. They aren't just music, they are a message. The band supplies a soundtrack to any underdog, and has faced and conquered challenges to get them this far.

The band's new album, "Night Visions", which is released on September 4th.

The unique sound of the band, using obscure instruments such as a mandolin in "It's Time", which has been nominated in the MTV Video Music Awards "Best Rock Music Video" category, and the bubbly, rocking keyboard tracks in "Look How Far We've Come", has gotten them the push they needed to release their first album, "Night Visions", scheduled to hit record stores, iTunes, Spotify, and other vendors on September 4th with all sorts of specific vendor bonuses on top of the included 11 tracks. The album, comprised of songs from "Continued Silence" and new tracks yet to be heard, is expected to go far.

In this time, the band is also having their new track "On Top of the World" featured on the new FIFA13 video game soundtrack, along with various other places in pop culture, including "It's Time" being used in the commercials for "The Perks of Being a Wallflower", as well as to be covered by Darren Criss on the Season 4 premiere of the hit TV show, Glee. Nobody can really argue that the band has already made an impression, with a long road ahead.

The release of "Night Visions" is expected to gain a huge amount of popularity, as well as their current fall tour with AWOLNATION, another popular rocker. The tour comes to the Summit Music Hall in Denver on September 27th and 28th, with shows sold out months in advance. Along with the tour, the band will make stops all over the nation, spreading their sound as well as showing off their talent and love of music. As a music lover, I couldn't, and wouldn't speak poorly of this band. They worked hard, and made something truly amazing. I recommend them to everyone I know, and also try and publicize their older EPs, Hell and Silence, and the self titled Imagine Dragons EP. Give them a listen, as well as any work done by the band, I promise they will not disappoint.

Why The World Loves Bob Dylan, And Maybe You Will Too

By Brett Stewart 

“The first time that I heard Bob Dylan I was in the car with my mother, and we were listening to, I think, maybe WMCA, and on came that snare shot that sounded like somebody kicked open the door to your mind, from 'Like a Rolling Stone.”

 – Bruce Springsteen inducting Bob Dylan into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten comments like “Why on earth do you listen to Bob Dylan?! He can’t even sing!” Or, “What’s so great about his music?” The most upsetting moment is when a kid my age is completely oblivious of him in the first place.

I’m writing this article to explain to my generation and those who don’t understand, just why Bob Dylan is so popular and will remain as a cultural icon forever.

1. Lyrics      

This will always be the first on the list with anything regarding Dylan. Dylan is the debatably the strongest lyricist and poet in rock and roll… ever. His masterpieces like ‘Mr. Tambourine Man’, ‘Visions of Johanna’, and ‘Like a Rolling Stone’ are among a massive four decade long catalog of lyrical gold. Even his weaker pieces like ‘Hurricane’ make our generation’s “lyricists” work look like Hallmark valentine cards.

The convicting and accusing question of “How does it feel?” rocked the entire musical world forever. In fact, I can’t even explain his lyrics.

“Darkness at the break of noon, shadows even the silver spoon, the handmade blade, the child’s balloon, eclipses both the sun and moon, to understand you know too soon, there’s no sense in trying.” It’s magic. (And don’t say its drugs; try to get a pothead write poetic beauty like that.)

I think the 'Don't Think Twice It's Alright' is the most beautiful song ever written. See video above.

2. The Electric Switch 

When Dylan went electric, the entire world was either overjoyed or just pissed off. When he played ‘Like a Rolling Stone’ at the Newport Folk Festival he got booed off stage… but this moment changed the history of music. Dylan went electric and everyone else followed.

3.  Post Electric Switch Trilogy

In the early 60’s Dylan was big on protest songs. ‘Blowing in the Wind’ became the poster song for the civil rights movement. When he switched electric, he had a three album trilogy of musical transformation. ‘Bringing it all Back Home,’ ‘Highway 61 Revisited,’ and ‘Blonde on Blonde.” These three albums are the foundation for rock and roll, and they’re just plain awesome. Tracks like ‘Ballad of a Thin Man,’ ‘Highway 61 Revisited,’ and my personal favorite, ‘Maggie’s Farm’ changed the way we rock.

4. Reincarnations

Dylan’s music is different than any other artist of his time, or of any time. It doesn’t die or fade away. It changes. Dylan has reincarnated himself into a different person and artist half a dozen times throughout his career.

5. Budokan

The 1979 album ‘Bob Dylan At Budokan’ is either praised as a musical masterpiece or a total P.O.S. However you feel about it, it doesn’t change the fact that an artist took 22 of his hit songs and made them a different genre. The album is basically a soul and reggae album. On its own merit, the album is outstanding.

6. It’s just good and there’s a LOT of it.

I look at my generation’s music, and it sucks. Some of it is okay or pretty good, but the vast majority of it sucks. Dylan is the refreshing light at the end of the tunnel. Not only does he have dozens of remarkable songs, he has a dozen versions of each one of those songs. He’s released over 40 albums. The Dylan catalog is vast and never ceases to entertain me. There’s always something interesting in it.

My suggestion to my generation? After you are done with this article, watch the videos in it. Get rid of the concept that it isn’t Party Rock, it’s meaningful. Just… listen to it. Get past the immediate impression that Dylan “can’t sing” and look onto WHAT he’s singing. And I promise, you’ll end up liking his voice anyway.

Oh, and then go on Spotify and listen to the catalog. Pick random songs. You’ll find something, trust me. 

Except stay away from "The Witmark Demos" and "Live 1964." I can't defend that crap... no idea what he was thinking. 

Lunacy- Answers?

Aaron Bilek

I could not contain my excitement. All of my colleagues ridiculed me for even considering taking on this quest, and the knowledge that I was the correct one was enough to keep my spirits up the entire trip home. Not once did I remove the cloak, not that there was any need to. The external temperature, no matter how hot, couldn’t affect the internal temperature, which kept me cool. The curious thing is, that when I asked a few people how I looked in my new attire, all I got was quizzical looks, as if they didn’t notice anything besides my clothes. I didn’t pay too much attention to them and decided to research the cloak some more when I arrive at my apartment. 
I hailed a taxi from the airport and gave him my address. As a test, I inquired about how my cloak looked on me. The driver just smiled and rose the barrier between us. He wouldn’t speak to me the rest of the trip and didn’t stay long enough to accept my fare.I filed the information in my head and made my way up to my home sweet home, apartment 523. Due to the age of the building, every step I took creaked under my weight. I reached my floor and headed to my door. Halfway down the hallway, I heard movement from behind me and wildly spun around. My face flushed with embarrassment when I realized that it was just my elderly neighbor Arty. he flashed a smile and complimented me on my new cape. It was my turn to be quizzical since nobody else seemed to even acknowledge its presence. I told myself I’d talk to him about it later, since now, I was starving. My door yielded easily, and after locking it behind me, I rushed to my kitchen and prepared a feast, for after all those meals I had skipped on my adventure, I had worked up quite an appetite. After consuming most of the food I had stored, I grabbed a final sandwich and sat down at my desk. I opened my aged laptop and considered applicable keywords for a search. After all, my journey wasn’t over with the discovery of my childhood goal, it went much deeper than that. I had to know why.
 Why was the cloak just left there? Why did I create a map during my blackout? The list went on and on. The details of my search online isn’t important, but what I learned was. Long ago, when humans were still in a hunter-gatherer society, an internet conspiracy stated that extraterrestrial beings brought technology and knowledge to the human race in order to further our advancements. once humans had built up enough power however, they wiped out the aliens and stole items of power from them. The humans built secluded shrines to these relics and the shrines were lost through time and war.
 Now, I’m not one to follow silly stories written by silly people, but when I read this one, I had a gut feeling that this was the closest thing that I would find to the truth. I wanted to venture further, however the pocket of my jeans spontaneously burst into flame. I ran into my shower and hopped in whilst turning on the cold water. The flames subsided, but the searing heat remained in place. After about ten minutes of residing underneath my shower fully clothed, the heat dissipated. I limped back over to my desk. Suddenly, I remembered what I had stored in my jeans pocket. I shoved my hand inside to see if I could find any remnants of the map that resided there. 
Expecting the worst, I found a paper fragment. Except it wasn’t just a fragment. The entire map was still intact somehow.  I was baffled. Even more baffling was that once the map was unfolded, it was an entirely different map than what was once there. instead of a chart ringed with symbols, this version of the “map” featured a list of what I soon translated to be coordinates. I sat in stunned silence at yet another miracle until there was a knock at my door. Shaking my head, but still in disbelief, I rose and headed towards the doorway. I peered through the lens to the hallway, but it was void of any life
 After I opened the door and confirmed my suspicions, I turned around, ready to go back from whence I came. Fortunately, I was looking at the floor, for if I wasn’t, I would have missed the white envelope resting there. I picked it up and my heart skipped a beat when I saw that the language written on the envelope was identical to the language on the map. I opened it warily and pulled the note out of its case. The note boasted the same language as the envelope and the map, so I sat down and translated another shock of a lifetime.

    Mack-
        It’s time you knew. After all, you have claimed your first artifact and I feel the
    ground shudder as the wheels you have set in motion roll. That cloak of yours, yes I
    can see it, triggered a countdown once it was removed from its resting place. This
    countdown ticks down to the release of an evil beast, one held captive by the magic of
    all items similar to your cloak. The only way to defeat this beast now is to collect and
    master the rest of the items. Your map should show you the way. I’ve kept an eye on you
    since your childhood, and I made sure that that map was ingrained into your life. The
    blackout was an unfortunate side effect of the bonding process, but it worked in my
    favor. You, and you alone, have been chosen to access the knowledge of the stars and
    unite the items to destroy the beast. Best of luck, we’re all counting on you.
                       
                                -Artemis “Arty” O’ryan

A countdown? My map? The beast? This answered many questions, but left many more in its wake. I sighed and re-packed my bags, for this was a journey that needed all the time I could give it. The only was I could figure out more was through experience. And boy, this journey, and epic journey, that will last throughout the ages, well, it’s just beginning.